Guide to the Bathrooms of Yountville
If there is one thing that Yountville has more of than Michelin stars, Thomas Keller restaurants, and faux-Tuscan architecture — it is public restrooms. In fact, Yountville leads the world in public restrooms per capita. Once safely ensconced in downtown Yountville, the town’s target demo may throw their Depends undergarments to the wind and meander with abandon.
This list, of course, does not include the many restrooms in restaurants, tasting rooms and shops, but only those which are accessible to the public. Whether you are doubled over after chasing a few too many tacos chorizo from Tacos Garcia with a few too many PBRs at Pancha’s, you just forgot to take your daily dose of Oxybutynin or you are merely in need of lavatory — let this map be your guide.
View The Public Restrooms of Yountville in a larger map
(from south to north)
Veterans Memorial Park Redwood Cabin
One woman’s and a unisex in a scenic park location. On the outside, a cute little redwood cabin, on the inside: a dump with a broken handicap accesible exit button. The worst public restroom in Yountville. Which is to say its no better or worse than facilities most anywhere else.
Community Center Facilities
Standard municipal facility with both a men’s and ladies’ room. Well maintained, but nothing fancy. Inside the building you’ll also find an community art gallery and a used book sale for the Friends of the Library, which is handy if, you know, you need reading material.
Front of V Marketplace/ Pacific Blues
The most central location in all Yountville, this complex of bathrooms boasts a men’s room, ladies’ and two unisex rooms. The unisex rooms have no steps, as do the other two, so are ideally placed for those with canes, walkers or wheelchairs.
An nondescript set of a men’s room and a ladies’ room up a flight of steps. A bit dark and dingy, given the surroundings. There are actually cinderblock walls. How gauche.
Napa Style Bathrooms
A set of a men’s room and a ladies’ room at ground level, with a more rustic feel than most of the other bathrooms. The sense of place really comes through here.
North Lawn Complex
Piped-in jazz, flowers, enough space to stretch out and relax, and immaculately maintained — this is the holy grail, the crown jewel of Yountville public restrooms, the bathroom experience imagined as Roman vomitorium. There is every comfort short of cisterns full of Chanel No. 5 and a a flunky handing you pieces of raw silk toilet roll. If you need to drop a deuce, this is the call. The lawn and fountains are a nice touch, adding to the feel of general serenity here (though sometimes private events held on the lawn — apparently the purpose of this slice of excrementory heaven — can spoil this).
Yountville Park Redwood Cabin
Another quaint redwood cabin that makes you feel like maybe you are relieving yourself at Dinsneyland’s Frontier Town. Slightly more well maintained than its sibling at Veteran’s Memorial Park on the south end of town.